Things You Could Never Imagine Saying…

Written by dad - 7 Comments

…before you became a parent:

“Get your hands out of your pants and finish your lunch.”

“Your buttcrack is not sanitary. Go wash your hands.”

“Either sit on the toilet or go to bed. This is not a game.”

“I saw you pick and eat it. Go wash your hands — I don’t want them on my computer.”

Published on May 20th, 2008 - 7 Comments
Filed under: Daily Life,Parenting Quotes
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Comments (scroll down to add your own):

  1. Mine was when I was on the phone with a friend and went to go check on my youngest son. He was in the bathroom… and without stopping to think about the fact I had a phone in hand I said “Tot, stop licking that toilet”. Ugh.

    Comment by vw bug — May 22nd 2008 @ 8:05 pm
  2. My mother used to tell me “I hope you have a kid who is just like you and then you will understand what it’s like!”

    I got one. I get it. I hear myself telling him the same thing & my mother’s voice echoes in my head.

    Thanks for participating in this week’s very special Memorial Day Edition of the Carnival of Family Life at Colloquium! Stop by and check out some of the other wonderful articles included in this edition!

    Comment by JHS — May 26th 2008 @ 12:39 am
  3. I don’t have any boys but I have 2 daughters so I have an entire different set of phrases. Care to hear it:

    ” Stop looking at the mirror, you are not changed that much in 5 seconds?”

    “Put the phone down or it will stuck to your ears”

    ” Come out of the bathroom right now! Your five is over 1 hour ago!”

    Comment by Sherry Love — May 27th 2008 @ 10:21 am
  4. Great post!

    Comment by Jenny — May 27th 2008 @ 12:15 pm
  5. Ahaha! My 7 month old hasn’t gotten any kookie phrases from me yet (do crazy baby sounds count?!) But since we are raising a boy I’m sure the buttcrack and booger statements will be plenty.

    Comment by Lucian's Mommy — May 29th 2008 @ 12:03 pm
  6. here is one I said to my daughter that I laughed about afterwards.

    “Stop picking your nose with your tongue, that’s gross!” She has a very long tongue.

    Comment by Jennifer — May 29th 2008 @ 9:42 pm
  7. I’ve often wished I had started a list of those things that you’d never in a million years have forseen yourself saying. Of course, I haven’t and the ones that make me stop & think “did I just say that?” are so ridiculous that I can’t very well recall them. A couple:

    – “Please don’t eat the Cheerios from inside the couch.”
    – “Honey, please don’t knee-cap the former premier with a squash raquet”

    The first probably would have not been too surprising to me 10 years ago, but the second would have been a bit of a shocker.

    Also, “get your hands out of your pants” comes up WAY to often. “Don’t eat with your hands”, I’m a little surprised to be still saying – daily – to an 8 year old.

    Thanks for your list. It sure struck a chord!

    Comment by harmzie — Jun 9th 2008 @ 3:16 pm

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