How to Praise Children
According to a recent study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, children who are praised for being intelligent (as in “You’re so smart…”) are can become highly sensitive to failure, making them less likely to take risks and more likely to give up when faced with a difficult challenge.
So next time you feel like praising your child for their success, bite your tongue and say:
“Hey idiot, nice job. Clearly you just got lucky, but it’s better to be lucky than good.”
I kid, I kid…
Rather, the recommended course of action is to give your kids specific praise for their effort, strategy, etc. For example, when your child does especially well on a test, compliment their study habits rather than their intellect.
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Good point. You’re right when you said parents must be specific when praising the kids. Also focus on the work/performance, not the person.
Comment by Abel — Sep 29th 2007 @ 9:08 pmWhy limit it to just kids? Good advice all around.
Comment by Blaine Moore — Sep 30th 2007 @ 4:28 pmI prefer the quoted part. haha. Actually, I really prefer that quoted part. I don’t have kids yet but I experienced taking care of a cousin for 6 years. I praise him that way. Now, he’s flexible, and surely learned a lot. He doesn’t give up in failures as well.
You just have to know how to give that kind of praise in a more gentle way. Especially, no bad words.
Comment by SL Lindens — Oct 1st 2007 @ 2:35 pm