A Private Matter (Beware: Bathroom Humor Ahead)

Every mother knows that going to the bathroom in a public restroom with little ones in tow can be tricky. I’ve had many an embarrassing moment in bathroom stalls over the years, but this past weekend is one for the record books.

Son #4 (two years old) had to use the bathroom while we were out to lunch at a casual, sit down restaurant. Since I had to go too, I volunteered to take him. We crammed ourselves into the stall at which time he started to chant, “You don’t have a penis. You don’t have a penis.” Then he went through all of his three brothers proclaiming that they had penises.

Finally, he came to his dad and the chant went something like this, “Daddy has a penis! Big penis!” By this time, I was practically hysterical laughing and trying to muffle my giggles all while trying to pee. Well, I wasn’t successful in muffling anything. I squeaked out a toot to which my son inquired in a very loud voice, “You going poop, mom?” This only got me laughing harder.

Eventually, I heard the toilet flush in the other stall, hands being washed and the restroom door opening and closing. The coast was clear! He and I spilled out of the stall to wash our hands and left the restroom. Thank goodness we were done eating and could head straight for the exit. I can only imagine the conversation being had at the table with the lady in the adjacent stall. Perhaps she showed some class and kept it to herself! I, on the other hand, have never described myself as classy and so I feel compelled to share this hilarity with you.

Do you have any similar stories? Feel free to taunt etiquette and share them with us.