Comments on: Update: An Insolent Child

By: Phyl

Phyl — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 15:41:46 +0000

I can only say that some of these comments are definitely from folks I only presume to either not have children, or not have children with special needs.
I have four children. MY oldest son (second oldest) was a perfect example of a mom not believing in labeling or medication. He was able to “make it through” the first 11 years of his life without meds. He also fell behind academically, had low self-esteem, few friends…
As one friend pointed out to me, if your husband had a heart condition, you’d want him to have medication for that, right?”
Meds allow his “train of thought” to slow down enough so he can see the thoughts clearly and completely (and not blur by.) Many kids with ADHD also have poor impulse control which the patch also improves. We definitely trained our children correctly, but without the patch, he can’t see the right choice until it has already passed him.
Tell the teacher, it is a partnership of sorts to help him learn skills he will need for the rest of his life.
Good Luck.

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 14:43:10 +0000

I think his teacher should be told that he is on medication. If she doesnt trust the teacher to be non judgemental and treat her son like all the other kids then she should have him moved to a new teacher. I know several parents that have their children on ADD and ADHD medications and they have to switch their medications up often. The teacher should be informed about the meds. because she would be the best judge on if they are continuing working or not. She see’s the kid for more hours in the day then the mother would.

I’m not sure how all the medications work but for my friend her kids are so draggy by the end of the day that she can’t judge if the medicines are working properly (and kids act totally different on the weekends then they do during the school week).

The teacher should be involved in judging if the meds are working so in my opionion she must know about them.

By: Magpie

Magpie — Sun, 05 Aug 2007 02:20:17 +0000

I’m glad that the medication works in this case, however unless it fixes the symptoms completely, I say tell the teacher. Speaking from experience, if a child has a behavioural problem I need to KNOW about it, so I can be ready for it.

By: Mamid

Mamid — Mon, 30 Jul 2007 18:25:48 +0000

I’m in the way overprescribed camp. I honestly think that instead of drugging the kids, they should hire more teachers and have much smaller classes.

By: Rindy

Rindy — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 20:17:14 +0000

Not that I am an advocate for meds, but they definitely have their place. My 3 boys and I all have tourette syndrome, which often is accompanied by ADHD and OCD. My kids have been on meds at different times, mainly for the ADHD and at this point my two oldest are not on any. My youngest cannot function without–he is very active and very impulsive–on the RIGHT meds at the RIGHT dosage, he is doing incredibly well. He is a smart and very witty guy and has wanted to be a neurosurgeon since he was 7. Support and openness about all the symptoms involved…with all caregivers/teachers involved makes a huge difference!

I only recently sought out correct diagnosis because as a child my family ridiculed, and abused me because I was often very impulsive and active. They did not understand that I was trying to stop…just couldn’t. I have learned to function with an active job and lifestyle (raising 3 boys will do that anyway ), but am now on meds…working on balancing activity level with ability to focus. I never realized how much I struggled!!

Please don’t rule out meds–they have their place. Please be open with all involved and work together—and look at each child as the separate and unique gift that they are.

By: MInTheGap

MInTheGap — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 14:22:56 +0000

I’m in the over-prescribed camp as well. To me, our society is holding girl’s behavior as the standard. While there’s no reason that a boy should not be obedient, I think that giving the kids drugs because a parent can not properly disciple their child is dangerous at best.

To me, I think there should be some research done with the family to see what exactly is going on. Before giving out drugs, the physiologist should have to spend a week in the family’s environment to see if there’s some actions that are provoking or encouraging the boys to behave this way.

Your previous story about this child had an appeasing parent. I don’t want to judge if she was always this way, but perhaps she could get help in controlling and training her kid instead of giving him drugs.

Drugs should be the very last resort, not the first.

By: Livingalmostlarge

Livingalmostlarge — Sun, 03 Jun 2007 21:30:37 +0000

Tell the teacher, that way in case something happens they are aware of it and won’t dose the kid with some other medication that would interact with the ADHD medication.

I do think ADD and ADHD is overprescribed. But DH’s old boss knew each of his kids had it since him and his wife had it. It made finishing school for all of them terrible.

By: Brant

Brant — Sat, 02 Jun 2007 23:10:46 +0000

PS Great point about shame. It’s a beast.

By: Brant

Brant — Sat, 02 Jun 2007 23:08:54 +0000

While the comments are largely free of hype, I do want to add that my parents did everything they could to help me through school, (Tutors, testing, classes, etc) I didn’t do much better no matter how many hours I tried or resources I used. I tried college five different times, as I love learning and had many interest. In my mid thirties I did another extensive round of testing at a respected medical center and was diagnose with ADHD. With some medication, and time to work out all the BS that has built up from feeling (knowing) that I wouldn’t finish something, or be fired from a job I loved because I kept forgetting tiny components, I’m free to pursue my dreams instead of finding a way to get by. It’s likely Ritalin is over prescribed, but there are also people out there who have limits to their lives that are grossly short of their potential.

By: Christina D

Christina D — Sat, 02 Jun 2007 17:22:17 +0000

I also have four boys of my own, number three has been taking medication for ADHD for about a year. I absolutely think the mother should tell the teacher. The only shame here is that the mother IS ashamed. She is doing, we are all doing, what is best for our child, and there is NO shame in that.

The teacher needs to be made aware of the situation. It isn’t fair to her to leave her in the dark on a situation that could very well effect this young man’s schooling. Be honest and upfront, if the mother can do that it will show her son that there is NOTHING to be ashamed of. Keep quiet, and the child will start to think there is something wrong with him that he needs to be embarrassed about.