Comments on: An Insolent Child, Part III: Are Insolent Kids Just a Sign of the Times? http://www.raising4boys.com/2007/05/10/an-insolent-child-part-iii-are-insolent-kids-just-a-sign-of-the-times/ parenting tips, tricks and commentary Thu, 09 Feb 2012 04:32:51 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: Brian http://www.raising4boys.com/2007/05/10/an-insolent-child-part-iii-are-insolent-kids-just-a-sign-of-the-times/comment-page-1/#comment-26197 Brian Thu, 02 Sep 2010 23:44:43 +0000 http://www.raising4boys.com/2007/05/10/an-insolent-child-part-iii-are-insolent-kids-just-a-sign-of-the-times/#comment-26197 Dear Candy: You mention you are strict with him, which is fine, if you are consistent. Kids need structure and consistency. Your rules should be clear as should the consequences for not following them. It is also a good idea to explain to him why you forbid him to disrespect adults and your authority (by "grounding" his brother). Kids often feel adults are capricious in their discipline. Just as important as any of this, listen to him. Give him a chance to say why he argues with adults, what bothers him, etc. Then challenge him to judge the situation (use questions like, "Does this seem like a good idea? Why?") He needs to see that he is establishing a pattern (good or bad) that will last his lifetime. As adults, we need to respect authority as well, or we'd all be fired and/or in jail! Lastly, any reinforcement you can get from a responsible male relative or friend will resonate with him. Hope all goes well. Dear Candy:

You mention you are strict with him, which is fine, if you are consistent. Kids need structure and consistency. Your rules should be clear as should the consequences for not following them. It is also a good idea to explain to him why you forbid him to disrespect adults and your authority (by “grounding” his brother). Kids often feel adults are capricious in their discipline. Just as important as any of this, listen to him. Give him a chance to say why he argues with adults, what bothers him, etc. Then challenge him to judge the situation (use questions like, “Does this seem like a good idea? Why?”) He needs to see that he is establishing a pattern (good or bad) that will last his lifetime. As adults, we need to respect authority as well, or we’d all be fired and/or in jail! Lastly, any reinforcement you can get from a responsible male relative or friend will resonate with him.
Hope all goes well.

]]> By: candy http://www.raising4boys.com/2007/05/10/an-insolent-child-part-iii-are-insolent-kids-just-a-sign-of-the-times/comment-page-1/#comment-26157 candy Wed, 04 Aug 2010 02:13:47 +0000 http://www.raising4boys.com/2007/05/10/an-insolent-child-part-iii-are-insolent-kids-just-a-sign-of-the-times/#comment-26157 i have a 13 yr old that i am very strict with. he is still trying to argue with other adults and tries to ground his brother. i am the only parent he has. can some one help me? i have a 13 yr old that i am very strict with. he is still trying to argue with other adults and tries to ground his brother. i am the only parent he has. can some one help me?

]]> By: Jan http://www.raising4boys.com/2007/05/10/an-insolent-child-part-iii-are-insolent-kids-just-a-sign-of-the-times/comment-page-1/#comment-25839 Jan Fri, 17 Jul 2009 15:23:51 +0000 http://www.raising4boys.com/2007/05/10/an-insolent-child-part-iii-are-insolent-kids-just-a-sign-of-the-times/#comment-25839 Have 21-year old girl in our home that does absoultely nothing to help out.....................says her dad is p_ _ _ _ whipped for listening to me...........her step mother....................awful hell living here.......................... Have 21-year old girl in our home that does absoultely nothing to help out…………………says her dad is p_ _ _ _ whipped for listening to me………..her step mother………………..awful hell living here……………………..

]]> By: Livingalmostlarge http://www.raising4boys.com/2007/05/10/an-insolent-child-part-iii-are-insolent-kids-just-a-sign-of-the-times/comment-page-1/#comment-13586 Livingalmostlarge Sun, 13 May 2007 05:52:47 +0000 http://www.raising4boys.com/2007/05/10/an-insolent-child-part-iii-are-insolent-kids-just-a-sign-of-the-times/#comment-13586 I'll reiterate it's because you don't want to go to jail for pinching your kid for misbehaving. I’ll reiterate it’s because you don’t want to go to jail for pinching your kid for misbehaving.

]]> By: Sharon http://www.raising4boys.com/2007/05/10/an-insolent-child-part-iii-are-insolent-kids-just-a-sign-of-the-times/comment-page-1/#comment-13581 Sharon Thu, 10 May 2007 21:25:48 +0000 http://www.raising4boys.com/2007/05/10/an-insolent-child-part-iii-are-insolent-kids-just-a-sign-of-the-times/#comment-13581 It takes CONSISTENCY for children to learn what is acceptable and what is not. I have observed that there are a lot of parents who just flip-flop from day to day on what the rules are. They just do what ever is the easiest thing to do at the time. Also, there are too many parents that are wrapped up in their own little personal problems that raising their children is just sort of a side issue. Sorry, folks, but once you have kids, you gotta pay attention to what they are doing and keep directing them to go the right way. I just want to shake self-absorbed parents and tell them HEY! It ain't about YOU, okay???? Yeah, yeah... you have a right to happiness, self esteem and all that rot, but could you take 5 minutes of your time away from "finding yourself" and "making time for yourself" to raise your child to be a decent human being, too? And, yes it does take a mom and a dad to get the job done. Anyone who thinks a father is not necessary is a fool. It takes CONSISTENCY for children to learn what is acceptable and what is not. I have observed that there are a lot of parents who just flip-flop from day to day on what the rules are. They just do what ever is the easiest thing to do at the time.
Also, there are too many parents that are wrapped up in their own little personal problems that raising their children is just sort of a side issue. Sorry, folks, but once you have kids, you gotta pay attention to what they are doing and keep directing them to go the right way.
I just want to shake self-absorbed parents and tell them HEY! It ain’t about YOU, okay????
Yeah, yeah… you have a right to happiness, self esteem and all that rot, but could you take 5 minutes of your time away from “finding yourself” and “making time for yourself” to raise your child to be a decent human being, too?
And, yes it does take a mom and a dad to get the job done. Anyone who thinks a father is not necessary is a fool.

]]> By: Mama Money http://www.raising4boys.com/2007/05/10/an-insolent-child-part-iii-are-insolent-kids-just-a-sign-of-the-times/comment-page-1/#comment-13579 Mama Money Thu, 10 May 2007 20:04:31 +0000 http://www.raising4boys.com/2007/05/10/an-insolent-child-part-iii-are-insolent-kids-just-a-sign-of-the-times/#comment-13579 I agree with Blaine--even though it's not PC to say it--children do best with two involved parents. I agree with Blaine–even though it’s not PC to say it–children do best with two involved parents.

]]> By: Blaine Moore http://www.raising4boys.com/2007/05/10/an-insolent-child-part-iii-are-insolent-kids-just-a-sign-of-the-times/comment-page-1/#comment-13578 Blaine Moore Thu, 10 May 2007 17:31:06 +0000 http://www.raising4boys.com/2007/05/10/an-insolent-child-part-iii-are-insolent-kids-just-a-sign-of-the-times/#comment-13578 I'd also add in that it is difficult to raise children without both parents working in large segments of the country, but I think the political correctness and everybody deserving a ribbon certainly plays a role. I’d also add in that it is difficult to raise children without both parents working in large segments of the country, but I think the political correctness and everybody deserving a ribbon certainly plays a role.

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